Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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