is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
