Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
