Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize