I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
