Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
