nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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