I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
third nipple confirmed
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
