"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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