The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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