Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
