Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
