My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
