We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
