New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
