I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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