Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize