Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize