so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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