My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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