i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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