You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize