Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We're too hungover to prance.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
