from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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