I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize