Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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