Ketchup is God's man juice
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm passing your future prison.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
