At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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