Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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