i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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