What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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