Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
