I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
