when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Farmville is her only friend.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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