how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
