I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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