I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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