Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
