the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
