it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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