Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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