So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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