Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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