Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
