i would punch a child for taco bell
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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