I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
