I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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