well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
