is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
