I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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