I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
