This is not my ceiling
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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