There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize