I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
