u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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