just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
