I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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