lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
