i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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