I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How many fucks given?
0.12846
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
