Don't you send me to vm
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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