ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
