also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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